In 2013 I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. “PCOS is a condition that occurs when cysts form on a woman’s ovaries. An imbalance of hormone levels in a woman’s body causes the cysts to form. The cysts are like tiny, fluid-filled balloons.”

PCOS can cause changes in fertility and is a common cause of secondary (and primary) infertility. The doctor confirmed that this was my case and started the medications that they recommended.

The desire to have another baby increased greatly. I felt confused, angry, lonely, desperate to “fix” my situation. One option that the doctor gave us is to start the process of In Vitro Fertilization (IVF), but my husband and I decided to wait a little longer before using this option.

I never imagined that this would be my situation, that I could not have another baby. Every month I looked forward to getting pregnant, I was taking medication and following the doctor’s instructions with my health care, but every month I was disappointed.

Our daughter was 3 years old and often talked about having a little sister and even has a name for her. Each day my husband or I have the habit of praying with her on her way to school and at night. She usually prayed, “God, help us adopt a little sister and give my mommy a baby in her tummy.” (At that time, God had placed in our hearts the call to adopt a baby, and she knew this.)

Every time I heard my daughter pray I wanted to explain that I could not have another baby, that the doctor had told me it would be difficult, but every time I had that thought something inside me, the Spirit of God, told me to not say anything, I did not want to discourage her. Honestly, the one who was discouraged was me because I did not have the control I wanted over my body. The reality is that my faith had limits and my daughter had unlimited faith, at her young age she understood a lot better what it meant to pray without conditions and to trust totally in God.

In April 2014, God answered my daughter’s prayer. God saw the boundless faith that she had and granted us a miracle by giving me the opportunity again to get pregnant.

During this time of my life I learned several lessons about how important and necessary it is to teach my children to talk with (pray to) God. 

1. Be an example: Our children observe, really well, everything we do. They see if we practice what we are teaching them. We have to show them that talking to God is part of our life. Although in my time of infertility I had difficulty in praying, I knew that God was the only One who could guide me in my difficult moments and for that reason I persisted in praying with my daughter.

I want them to see my example of prayer, not as a ritual in my life, but as a habit that I have developed into something that I believe and trust because of my relationship with God. Don’t be discouraged if your children do not want to pray, continue to be consistent with something you know is beneficial for us and for them. Your example will create a habit in the life of your family.

2. Develop a habit: Habit is the- Custom or practice acquired by frequency of repetition of an act. This goes hand in hand with the first lesson. For my children to develop a habit of prayer, they need to see me and hear me pray daily and often, even during the difficult times of life. Having the habit of talking with God tells my children that it is something I value. In our home we have the habit of praying with them in the morning before arriving at school, when we eat and at night before going to bed. Our children repeat what we pray or listen, our daughter prays using her own words and in the last year our 3 year old son joins us in expressing to God what is in his heart as well. Usually they are short sentences with simple words.

3. Use simple words: God does not expect us or our children to use eloquent words or articulate our prayers perfectly. He wants us to simply communicate with Him what is genuinely in our hearts and children are great at this. They usually share their hearts honestly and truthfully. We need to take advantage of these opportunities to teach them that in the same way they can pray, openly and about whatever is on their mind. 

4. Create opportunities: Like adults, children also experience all kinds of emotions and needs. Our daughter has some health issues and often asks me where God is during her time of need. Sometimes I do not have the answers she wants but I can pray with her. So I often stop and pray at that moment for what is on her heart. Or when one of my children wakes up from a nightmare, even though I am sleepy and tired, I stop and say a short prayer for sweet dreams and rest. Also, when I am in traffic, annoyed with others or with my children, I stop and pray aloud. I have learned that my children need to hear me pray and that I have to create opportunities to show them how important it is to talk with God during all seasons of life.

“And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.” Deuteronomy 6:6-7

5. Remind that God listens and answers: Our daughter was the first to know that we were going to have another baby. We reminded her of her prayers and that God heard her request. When our son was hospitalized for several weeks and our daughter prayed every night for him and for me, He heard her prayers. When God does not respond as quickly as we would like or with the answer we would like, we still remind our children that God listens.

6. Encourage to use a posture that is comfortable: The sincerity of their hearts is more important than if they are kneeling, sitting, standing or with their eyes closed. They can pray aloud or silent, long or short sentences. What they need is for us to support them and encourage them to talk with God. Sometimes my children are laying in bed, sometimes they have long prayers because they have to pray for each member of the family and sometimes they do not want to pray. I am not always patient with them, but I must be so that they know that they have the freedom to present themselves before God as they are.

7. Give a voice: If prayer is a value to me, then I will show that in my life and my children will witness this. God gives me the freedom to share my heart and my feelings, therefore, I have the responsibility to provide a safe space for them to freely use their voice to speak with God. Let’s teach our children that they can depend on us to help them use their voice to talk with their Creator.

These are lessons that I have learned and continue to learn about prayer, with my children. It is not easy to implement these lessons in my life and in theirs. I encourage you to encourage your sons, daughters or children in your life to talk to God. When they do, miracles happen.

Stay tuned to the next word…